(148 votes, average: 4.07 out of 5)
Loading ...While deciding where to go to dinner:
Mom: Hey, how about the Fuckruckers!
{ 7 comments }
2008
(148 votes, average: 4.07 out of 5) Loading ...
(289 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5) Loading ...I’m a married girl. From a conversation I had with my mom tonight, where she was trying to give me advice on how to deal with my stuffy nose and congested chest:
Me: I have some Vicks VapoRub.
Mom: That is good! Ask Chad to rub the Vicks all over your back, and then all over your front. Make sure he rubs all over your chest until you get hot. Then go to bed.
{ 6 comments }
(297 votes, average: 4.59 out of 5) Loading ... Me: Hey mom, it’s game night at Youth Group tomorrow.
Mom: You’re not going.
Me: Why?
Mom: Because. I don’t want you to go.
Me: Why though? We’re just going to play games.
Mom: Ohh, GAME Night. I thought you said ‘Gay Night’.
{ 5 comments }
(177 votes, average: 4.45 out of 5) Loading ...My dear Kids I just found out that I pass my recertification fot the American Board of Pediatrics. Thank God, with my poor computer skill and my unstable bladder, I am lucky to pass the exame, but I did study hard too. Thank all of you for your support. Love , yur only mom
{ 0 comments }
(441 votes, average: 4.85 out of 5) Loading ...The other day my mom and i were talking about bad grades I earned in elementary school
Mom: You did so bad in school the supernintendo called me to speak to me!
{ 6 comments }
(143 votes, average: 3.92 out of 5) Loading ...My mom and I had taken a yoga class earlier in the day and were driving pass Disneyland when…
Mom: What is Donald Duck?
Me: Huh?
Mom: Donald Duck?
Me: Oh Mickey Mouse’s friend. You know… the duck?
Mom: Then why did the instructor keep telling us to do Donald Duck?
Me: … uhhh?
Mom: You know.. When you bend over on the mat…
Me: DOWNWARD DOG?
{ 4 comments }
(215 votes, average: 3.97 out of 5) Loading ...Brother: Twilight is about vampires and this girl that is…
Mom: Twilight? Sounds like toilet…why do they name a movie that sounds like bathroom?
{ 2 comments }
(181 votes, average: 3.36 out of 5) Loading ...In the Philippines for a wedding. Family from all over is visiting. My aunt who lives in Ireland brought her Irish boyfriend Quinn with her. He is eating something. My mom wants to start a conversation, but she thinks he doesn’t speak English.
MOM: HELLO!
QUINN: (mouth full) Hello.
MOM: HOW ARE YOU?
QUINN: Fine, thanks.
MOM: DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE EATING?
ME: (aside to my cousin) Why is she talking so loud?
COUSIN: He speaks English. He’s not deaf.
{ 5 comments }
(233 votes, average: 4.61 out of 5) Loading ... After getting a satisfactory haircut from an Asian hairdresser:
Me: I think that hairdresser was gay.
Mom: Really?
(10 minutes later)
Mom: Poor him…
Me: Hm?
Mom: So young, and already gay! Poor him.
{ 1 comment }
