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Your eyebrows and eyes are good so when you at that age you should doing very well, especially the year of the nose, actually, your whole look is very good, don’t worry,you will be rich. ha…………and ge ge [older brother in Mandarin] too, because both of you have a good looking nose. trust me.
Open up own business always have stress but you have to try to relax, when your stomach hurts don’t drink any beer or wine, are you feeling all right?
Mama

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Mom: I’ve been watching dance videos to learn how to dance.
Me: What dances?
Mom: Tango, Salsa, Cha Cha Cha… that way I will be ready at your wedding
Me: Mom, I’ll only have hip hop
Mom: I can do that too! Aerobics class taught me to just shake my hips a lot.

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Waitress: Soup-or-salad?
Mom: Yes, please.
Me: Mom, soup OR salad. Not super salad.
Mom: Oh. Salad, please.

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Cuteness award goes to this mom who even video chats:



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Hi, Gina,
Daddy left this morning via Delta. he will arrive JFK and then to Korea after 1 PM.
I do not see any problem eating kalbi marinated in rice wine. You can eat anything except Coffee and a lot of wine or liquor…or marijuana, cocaine..or other toxic food.
I leave meat in water for few min, squeeze to get rid of blood, remove all the fat, boil in hot water to get rid of fat..and then put them in soup or kimchi jjige…
I hop you eat as much as you want ( for baby, too ) whatever you like.. OKEE?
Love you,
Mom

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[A normal night watching TV before dinner at home, when my mom comes home from work and sees what's on.]
*Wild hog comes on TV*
Mom: Hey, it’s a whore!
Me: …You mean a boar?
Mom: HAHAHAHAH right, boar. Whoops! Good thing only you heard that.

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I need ur help love. Need to wear costume to work this Friday. Any idea? I need to be cute not scary!

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She’s got her umbrella to protect from those UVs, and if there’s a park to be walked around, you better believe it’ll get walked.

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[Male friend goes to the bathroom at my house. Closes the door, unzips pants, starts his business. Mom now walks up to the door and tries to listen in.]
Mom: Eben. Eben. Are you standing up and peeing?
Eben: No Mrs. Wong.
Mom: Hey I can hear you OK? You stand up and peeing. I write sign above the toilet and say don’t stand up to pee. Sit down, OK? When you pee standing up, it splash all over the place. So gross.
Eben: OK Mrs. Wong.
Mom: [. . .] I can’t hear anything anymore. You sitting down or you done peeing?