My Mom is a Fob

Playing with food

Posted on October 23, 2008 at 10:32pm

dad said this should be called- naked chicks or naked chicks in hot tub or 4 naked chicks – he said should get a lot of hits if it is on web
ha ha
i do not know if i should sign mom or dad

Just kill the squirrel

Posted on October 23, 2008 at 10:03pm

Dear Princess,

I would like to write you some keys to better driving notes from Han’s work book.Approach to Driving is built upon four undeerlying concepts:

1. As a driver you need effective seeing habbits. Ninety percent of the information you use to drive comes through your eyes. The Collisionfree! Approach to Driving provides simple techniques to help you use your vision to its greatest effect. This will allow you time to process what you see.

2. You must maintain space in which to operate your vechicle,.You need space in front, behind and whenever possible, on both sides.This space allows you to see effectively and provides you with an escape route in case of trouble.

3. All other road users need space too. You must time your maneuver in traffic, especially when entering the flow or changinjg lanes, to avoid taking away another driver’s space, forcing them to brake or take evasive action.,

4. Finally, in the Collisionfree!Approach to Driving we take the position that prevention is better than cure. You must strive to drive proactively. You will attempt to predict the actions of other road users and then act before they do to avoid conflict. Ninety-five percent of the Collisionfree!Approach to Driving is proactive.

These four concepts are supported by habbits and sub-habbits. Habbits are behaviours that have been repoeated so often that they are now done without any conscious thought.

Habbit 1: Look Well Ahead
Habbit 2: Move Your Eyes
Habbit 3: Keep Space
Habbit 4: Spot the Problems

Do not jeopardize human life to avoid a small animal.

Please read and review these 4 habits.

Love Mommy, XOXO

All in a day’s work

Posted on October 23, 2008 at 06:45pm

Text message #1: Thisisyourmom.Iamtextingyou.
Text message #2: I.Dont.Know.How.To.Space.The.Letters.How?
Text message #3: Diditwork?
Text message #4: Howaboutnow?Isitworking?
Text message #5: Ididthat.
Text message #6: Ok.I.Am.Calling.Jed.He.Has.The.Same.Phone.
Text message #8: As you can see now I know how to do!
Text message #9: Listen to my new message! I wont answer. Call now.
New voicemail message: “Hi. This is your mom. Or your friend. If you do not fit into one of these categories, please do not call me. Thank you.”

Latin American lovers

Posted on October 23, 2008 at 07:52am

I’m so happy that you finally got the chemistry going with the right boy. Enjoy the ride, and let the future unveiled by itself. Latin American makes the best lover. I’m glad he is not the combination of… tall, handsome, and be the doctor. Flawless person is an insane!

Dog on a diet

Posted on October 23, 2008 at 06:59am

According to doctor’s standard, Gogo is still fat. We only give him one cup of diet food each day. We also give him Salmon and rice once or twice each week but have reduced the amount of rice. We have done all of this and Gogo still weights the same. He is very hungry every day. He will jump around when he sees his food bowl. Whenever we are eating he will sit there and look at us with his big eyes and moves his tongue around his mouth. A couple of times I cannot resist his look so I fed him a little bit of apple and peach. At least this is a good sign that he is very healthy and has good appetite.

Political awareness ftw

Posted on October 23, 2008 at 06:57am

Me: Mom, do you know who you’re going to vote for yet?
Mom: I don’t know yet. I don’t really know anything about Obama Baracka.
Me: Obviously. You don’t even know his name.

Constipation advice

Posted on October 23, 2008 at 05:06am

Hi, sons, the best way for constipation:fiber and prune juice (3-4 table spoon or more/a day). try it, if you need. One bottle you can drink it about more than one mouth. Bon, drink oil is not good method. Mom

Another fob mom reviews MMIAF

Posted on October 23, 2008 at 04:57am

haha……some of those sounded like me…………thank God, I have some education, but not enough to keep up with you guys. I know what it is to chill…………..having fun but not sick…….

Dear druggies, leave Ma alone

Posted on October 23, 2008 at 04:54am

My place smell like someone smoke weeds, the smoke are so strong gave bad headache. I can not open window or run AC . Very bad air condition.

Facebook friends

Posted on October 23, 2008 at 02:36am

Facebook message sent by my mom regarding a photo of me kissing my roommate on the cheek:

Jean,
Your picture shows you are gay that is no good.
Mon