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I am a 28 year old single woman. I walk into the kitchen Christmas morning in sweats but no socks.
Mom: Ai-goo! Why you not wear socks?
Me: (looks around, as it is 60 degrees out.) It’s not cold. (points to father’s similarly bare duck feet) And Daddy doesn’t have socks on.
Mom: (indignant) It different with Daddy. Daddy doesn’t have uterus.

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My mom, like all Asian mothers, speaks VERY loud despite the context. Case in point, my 3 yr old and 2 yr old niece were taking a bath.
Mom: (pointing at my youngest niece) DID YOU POO POO IN THE BATHTUB?
3-yr-old niece: A Ne (grandma)….use your inside voice.
I later explained to my niece that A Ne doesn’t have an inside voice, she has one voice only.

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looking at pictures of some asian girls…
stepsister 1: is that tiffany?
stepsis 2: wow, she got really dark!
stepsis 1: she must’ve gone on vacation or something, she’s really tan
stepmom: dark cool now, obama black!