(291 votes, average: 4.77 out of 5)
Loading ...I am a 28 year old single woman. I walk into the kitchen Christmas morning in sweats but no socks.
Mom: Ai-goo! Why you not wear socks?
Me: (looks around, as it is 60 degrees out.) It’s not cold. (points to father’s similarly bare duck feet) And Daddy doesn’t have socks on.
Mom: (indignant) It different with Daddy. Daddy doesn’t have uterus.
{ 16 comments }
(167 votes, average: 4.57 out of 5) Loading ...My mom, like all Asian mothers, speaks VERY loud despite the context. Case in point, my 3 yr old and 2 yr old niece were taking a bath.
Mom: (pointing at my youngest niece) DID YOU POO POO IN THE BATHTUB?
3-yr-old niece: A Ne (grandma)….use your inside voice.
I later explained to my niece that A Ne doesn’t have an inside voice, she has one voice only.
{ 5 comments }
(218 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5) Loading ...looking at pictures of some asian girls…
stepsister 1: is that tiffany?
stepsis 2: wow, she got really dark!
stepsis 1: she must’ve gone on vacation or something, she’s really tan
stepmom: dark cool now, obama black!
{ 1 comment }
(176 votes, average: 4.58 out of 5) Loading ...I told my mom to stop texting “ok” because it wastes texts. A couple days later…
Me: “hey mom, going to a friend’s house, be back later.”
Mom: “Hai {ok}”
{ 2 comments }
(167 votes, average: 4.76 out of 5) Loading ...(Mom turns off the front light)
Mom: Don’t open the door if someone rings the doorbell, there’s a salesman outside
Me: Um… Mom, those are carolers.
{ 3 comments }
(307 votes, average: 4.82 out of 5) Loading ...My mom had bought some KFC for a backyard barbecue.
Mom: Hey guys! Time for some Kentucky Fricken Chicken!
{ 5 comments }
(173 votes, average: 3.66 out of 5) Loading ...While my family and I were at dinner at a Chinese restaurant, I looked into the kitchen, which had a window for people eating to watch the chefs cooking, and I saw one of the chefs making something I had never seen before. This was the following conversation that ensued:
Me: Mom, what is that lady making?
Mom: Uh, you mean that MAN?
Me: Uh…no, that’s clearly a woman.
Mom: NO! That’s a MAN. Ask your grandma
*turns to grandma*
Mom: Ma, isn’t that a man? Look at his hands. There’s no way that’s a woman.
Grandma: YEAH! That’s a MAN.
Me: You guys are so wrong! That’s a woman. I bet you all $20 each.
Grandma: Fine, I’m going to ask that waitress coming by.
Me: OMG. Grandma, you can’t! That’s so rude!
*flags down waitress and turns on cute grandma charm*
Grandma: Excuse me, miss. Is that chef a man or a woman?
Waitress: Uh….that’s a woman. She’s just tall…but that’s definitely a woman
Grandma: Oh……………thank you!
{ 5 comments }
(148 votes, average: 4.34 out of 5) Loading ...My friend’s mom visited my house from Asia. She was training my dog, Monday…
K’s mom: (with heavy Japanese accent) Shit, Monday, shit. Monday
{ 5 comments }
Believe it or not, My Mom is a Fob is now available in print! Not only does the book showcase your favorite entries as well as never-before-published submissions, it also features essays by the authors, Teresa and Serena Wu, and a forward by comedian Margaret Cho! Grab your copy of the book today on Amazon, Borders, or Barnes & Noble!
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