(298 votes, average: 4.85 out of 5)
Loading ...Every year, the best part of my birthday is the card my parents send me.
cover:
inside:
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Saturday, February 28, 2009
(298 votes, average: 4.85 out of 5) Loading ... (1,429 votes, average: 4.85 out of 5) Loading ...Scene: School parking lot after class ends. My mom points out a Chinese couple making out near the bathrooms.
Mom: Aiiiiiiiiiii-YAAAAAAAAAA! Can’t they do that behind bushes or suuumting? If you eveeeeeeeeeeer get boyfriend, don’t let me see do something like that!
Me: Don’t worry. I wouldn’t dare to.
Mom: Good. Because if you do, I take picture and send it to grandma. And then when grandma get heart-attack, you pay hospital bills.
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(443 votes, average: 4.85 out of 5) Loading ...My brother was in the kitchen and he left his AIM on without an away message. My mom was on the computer and my brother gets an IM from one of his friends…
Friend: what time are you gonna be there tomorrow?
Mom (typing for my brother): 6 30
Friend: the fuck?
Friend: we’re leaving at 7:30
Mom (to me and brother): who dis ‘the fuck’ guy?!?!
Mom (typing): ok 7
Mom (typing): u happy?
{ 4 comments }
(345 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5) Loading ...So my mom has been really getting into Facebook (with her network of 16 friends):
Mom: Oh, look! Jim just nominated me as “The Nicest Person on Facebook”! That’s so nice of him! How do I win? Do I have to ask people to vote for me? There’s so many people on Facebook though…do I get anything if I win? Honey?
Mom: What is this? Someone “poked” me. I POKE them back! Isn’t that kind of rude?
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(311 votes, average: 4.81 out of 5) Loading ...Me: Mom, this girl from my school and I are fighting!
Mom: Just tell her to close her mouth, and tell her ‘You’re so smell!’
{ 3 comments }
(454 votes, average: 4.84 out of 5) Loading ...My mom was once a great cellist and loves classical music. Knowing that, I took her to one of Yo-Yo Ma’s concerts. At a party, I heard her say to a group of her friends,
“…so I went to yo mama’s concert…I went to see yo mama…”
{ 11 comments }
(431 votes, average: 4.84 out of 5) Loading ...This guy gave me a rose and I put it in my room. My grandma saw it and told my mom…
Mom: Who gave you rose?
Me: What?
Mom: The rose in your room!
Me: Oh, just this boy…
Mom: What boy? Don’t you know rose means sexing.
Me: Sexing?
Mom: Yeah, sexing. You know. Sexing.
Me: It’s just a rose.
Mom: You be careful! He wanting to sexing you.
Me: Ok…
{ 6 comments }
(226 votes, average: 3.68 out of 5) (228 votes, average: 4.59 out of 5) Loading ...I have to wake up early tomorrow morning for a job interview. My mom sends me this text:
pls sleep soon. nobody like swallen face and jumble eyes. gooooooooodluck.
love mom.
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