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My younger brother is off from high school this week (midwinter recess in NYC), so he slept in. Before I got back from class, my mom called me to say that my younger brother was going out, so she left him a note asking him to call her about his plans for the day—you know how Asian parents are.
Well I looked in his room but didn’t see a note, not in the hallway, nor in the kitchen. He eventually called her, and I eventually found the note.
On the toilet seat cover.
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Mom: YOU A FISHERMAN IN COLLEGE NOW
Me: Freshman mom.
Mom: FRESHERMAN
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My cousin’s boyfriend was going to sleep over at our house on the couch and when my cousin asked my mom, the conversation went like this:
“Oh ok. On the couch?”
“Yea. Are you sure he can stay?”
“Yea just tell him that he can’t touch… ANYTHING!”
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I left you message last night and don’t know you got or not. WE received message from Miss Nickle from Goldensex(?) to ask part time job application response. call home for any question.
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Mommy: Ohhh Beee, I like your sweater! Where did you get it from?
Me: It’s from Anthropologie.
Mommy: Oh wowwwwwww!
(a few weeks later)
Mommy: Bee, when are you going to get me a sweater like yours from greek mythology?
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My (Korean) mother has trouble getting celebrity names straight. There are a few that she ALWAYS mixes up, no matter how many times I correct her:
“Bronze Pierce” (Pierce Brosnan)
“Goldie Whoopberg” (Whoopi Goldberg … and when I correct her, she asks “What kind of name is Whoopi?” and proceeds to say it wrong again the next time)
“PeeDiddilly” (P.Diddy)
“Joe Low” (J.Lo)
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My Caucasian dad’s a pastor of an American church. There are no Koreans in the church except my mom. After Bible study, there were prayer requests. My mom raised her hand and gave hers…
“Peas pray po man at work, he goin thru bad circumcisions. He needa our prayers.”
She meant circumstances, NOT circumcision. Imagine my dad’s and my reaction during prayer requests. Let’s just say, it’s quite inappropriate for the Pastor and pastor’s daughter to be laughing during prayer requests.
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Me: (after a long day of school) I feel like crap.
Mom: Really? I feel like shrimp.
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Mom calls me asking what I want from In-N-Out Burgers.
Me: Can you get me the animal style fries?
thirty minutes later, mom comes home…
Mom: I asked for the doggy-style fries, but I think they ran out because they just started laughing.
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mom: oh i am so happy
me: why, what’d you do
mom: rosy is doing such a good job. she doesn’t complain or talk to me, or get in the way. when i am in the room, she just avoids me and keeps cleaning. she cleans all day!
me: you hired a maid?
mom: i bought one!
me: um. how did you do that?
mom: i got rosy!!
me: i dont think you can just buy people
mom: you know from the jetsons? that’s my favorite show when i come to usa.
me: i dont know what you are talking about. i need to go.
another day…
mom: i got you robot maid. her name is lucy. because i already have rosy
me: why lucy?
mom: because i have rosy
My mom got me a roomba too.
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