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me: Mom, I’m hungry where can we go to eat?
mom: Oh mei mei I just saw a Mozart restaurant down the street, let’s go there!
*me looking around for a restaurant called “mozart” or something of the sort*
me: mom, I dont see it!
mom: its right there! *points to a Wolfgang Puck Bistro*

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“Uhhh she looks dirty, it itterates me, it itterates it iterates.”

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My mom is talking to my sister about a recent relationship snafu while my dad, my other sister and I listen:
Mom: So you had LQ?
Us: WHAT?!
Mom: Love Quarrel … duh!
… later …
Mom: So, it was an MU?
Us: A who?!
Mom: Mutual Understanding!!

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My adorable grandma needed to make dinner for some very important people from the American Embassy and she couldn’t understand the English grocery labels, so she bought some canned meat, served it, and it was a hit.
Later that night, my grandpa looked in the trash and lo and behold…
…the guests had a Purina meal fit for a pup!