I mean, if you really want me to…

March 26, 2009

(863 votes, average: 4.84 out of 5)

Loading ...

My mom is always suspicious. Everything I do, she automatically concludes that I must be smoking. She tries so hard to bust me for smoking and I don’t even smoke.

Scenario A:
Mom: Are you hungry?
Me: No mom.
Mom: Why aren’t you? It’s way past dinner time… You’re smoking aren’t you! Smoking leads to lost appetite.

Scenario B:
Mom: What are you doing?
Me: I’m doing laundry.
Mom: WHY? You never do laundry! You’re hiding something… You must be smoking. You’re SMOKING AREN’T YOU!
Me: Mom… I just wanted to be helpful. Forget it, you can do the laundry for me.

Scenario C:
Mom: Did you just take another shower?
Me: Yes….
Mom: WHY? That’s the second time you took a shower!
Me: Mom, I just got done playing football outside. Chill OUT!
Mom: You’re smoking aren’t you?

Scenario D:
Mom: You look funny. You’re face lost some weight.
Me: WHAT….?
Mom: You’re SMOKING aren’t YOU!?

roxie

My mom was always trying to bust me for being on the pill.. I didn't go on the pill until after I got married.

One time after a sleep over she found an M&M on the floor and accused me of being friends with people who took birth control….
anonymous

There had been a sale on candles and I bought a bunch and my mom was convinced I was smoking in my room.

When I finally decided to be a grownup and open my own bank account, she though that I had spent all my money on drugs for my bf and that I needed a credit card to buy more drugs.

:/
Janet

/sigh

my mom did the same to me in high school. except she accused me of being a crackwhore. always demanded to see my bank statements convinced that it will say “$500 withdrawl for COCAINE” or ” paid $200 to my PIMP.” wtf? i was a straight A-student with AP classes and an officer of the Key Club. apparently, Key Club is just a front. highlight: my mom busting in on our Saturday afternoon event to hand stitch heart pillows for people who had open heart surgery. that was a fun one to explain to my bewildered friends. and my mother woners why i think she'd crazy!
Janet

oops i meant “wonders.”
Telanis

Smack that bitch.
Anastasia Beaverhausen

As the daughter of a mom who completely didn't care about anything I did, I sort of find this refreshing. I mean, I realize it's sort of the opposite extreme, but it's weird to even imagine having sucn an intrusive, overprotective mom when mine didn't even know if I was alive most days. Or care. FOB moms are kind of endearing in a weird way.
tab

My father (I know…should be on My Dad is a Fob) used to bust me every time I closed my bedroom door because he thought I was “hiding something” from him. Once I shut off the lights in my room and went downstairs. He called me back up to ask me what the hell I was doing in my room with the door closed. He assumed I had closed my door. (Duh, dad, I was smoking pot, watching porn, and forging counterfeit money). :/
Woot Asian Mothers

My mom always accused me of being pregnant.

*At 6:00AM, she comes in*
Mom: You've had sex haven't you?
Me: Wuh? No.
Mom: But your hips have gotten wider!
Me: What?
Mom: Your hips have gotten wider! You've had sex. Your hips look like those of an African woman.
Me: Puberty. Puberty. Let me sleep.
Suzie

My mom was just paranoid generally. She never had a specific thing. Just always asked me what I was doing, where I was going, the address, the exact time I would get home (which is always up in the freaking air), and back before I got a cell phone (which I had to wait for until university) the numbers of everybody I would be hanging out with, so now I'm happy she never accused me of specific shit. haha.
zee

Sounds like my mom when I was younger. Except replace smoking with pregnant.
victoriah

that m&m incident sounds HILARIOUS. but probably not to you.
There's always something

After the smoking paranoia was resolved, came the constant assumptions of pregnancy. After that was resolved, my mom kept asking me if I am a lesbian.
Melissa

Don't worry, my mom's like this too. I've had a cellphone for 5 years now, I drive, I am legal to live on my own, and she STILL asks me for every detail of my life. In fact, my curfew has gotten earlier throughout the years… for some reason she expects me back by 11 now sometimes.

In response to the author of this entry, my mom's the same too but with sleeping. EVERYTHING that possibly goes wrong is because I don't “sleep enough”. She thinks I have yellow skin because my liver is malfunctioning because I don't sleep enough. Helloooo, I'm Asian!
zoee

Am I the only one who found this really really funny…?
jenny

LOLLLL love that. one time i threw up after eating too much popcorn (i got the large with free refills) at the theater that day and my mom thought i was pregnant -_-
http://www.uprinting.com/Brochure-Printing.html Brochure Printing

Oh my, that's quite annoying. She should have just said “yes mom, I smoke” so she didn't have to hear this statement go on and on. Why won't parents believe what their kids say anyway?
trieuster

buahahaha so my mom thinks i could be lesbian or have only lesbian friends because my friend gave me a collage of our pictures as a gift for my birthday. Last night she asked if I was hanging out with “that” friend because I was out for halloween night. And my mom is always suspicious about pregnancy and smoking. Always smelling my close when i get home and asking why i keep gaining weight, but its school and i gorge during finals.
mai

hahahaha… this one actually made me laugh out loud because I can soooo relate to the loving nagging!!
mai

hahahaha… this one actually made me laugh out loud because I can soooo relate to the loving nagging!!
baober

I used to sit on the can and read, because that's one of the few places I could have some peace and quiet (ie Asian parents feel it's ok to barge into your room whenever they want). But I guess my parents started noticing, because they started getting suspicious and began asking me what I was doing in the bathroom for so long (take your pick, smoking, jacking off, etc.)
Thisbenora

i get this all day everyday lol
Fairygirl38199

no im not smoking!
Fairygirl38199

i will never smoke
Keanle

Suzie – That's called “being a good parent.”
http://www.bronzependantlights.net/adjustable-pendant-lights-can-also-add-necessary-taste-to-a-room/ adjustable pendant lights

Excellent!
Great article, I already saved it to my favourite,
Anonymous

Authentic Mike Wallace Jersey, Authentic DeAngelo Hall Jersey, Authentic LaMarr Woodley Jersey, Authentic Santana Moss Jersey, Dolphins Chad Henne Authentic Jersey, Redskins Ryan Torain Jersey, Steelers Troy Polamalu Authentic Jersey, Authentic DeAngelo Williams Jersey, Heath Miller Jersey, Steelers Mike Wallace Jersey, Steelers Ben Roethlisberger Authentic Jersey, Redskins Chris Cooley Authentic Jersey, Rams Sam Bradford Jersey, wholesale jerseys china, Steelers Troy Polamalu Jersey, Redskins Santana Moss Jersey, Steelers Heath Miller Jersey, LaMarr Woodley Jersey, Panthers Cam Newton Jersey, Redskins Clinton Portis Jersey, Dolphins Brandon Marshall Authentic Jersey, Rams Sam Bradford Authentic Jersey, Panthers Cam Newton Authentic Jersey, wholesale nfl jerseys, Authentic Clinton Portis Jersey, Authentic Chad Henne Jersey, Steelers James Harrison Jersey, Dolphins Chad Henne Jersey, Steelers Ben Roethlisberger Jersey, Panthers DeAngelo Williams Jersey, Redskins Chris Cooley Jersey, Authentic Troy Polamalu Jersey, wholesale nfl jerseys, Rashard Mendenhall Jersey, Redskins Ryan Torain Authentic Jersey, wholesale jerseys, James Harrison Jersey, Authentic Sam Bradford Jersey, Steelers James Harrison Authentic Jersey, Redskins Brian Orakpo Authentic Jersey, Mike Wallace Jersey, Authentic Chris Cooley Jersey, Authentic Heath Miller Jersey, cheap nfl jerseys china , Redskins Clinton Portis Authentic Jersey, Hines Ward Jersey, Rams Robert Quinn Authentic Jersey, Steelers LaMarr Woodley Jersey, wholesale jerseys from china, Authentic Ben Roethlisberger Jersey