Monday, May 4, 2009

Neither Nor

May 4, 2009

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (216 votes, average: 2.47 out of 5)
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inheriting lactose intolerance from the maternal side of things seriously sucks. so, half-joking + half-serious, i tailed off an email with:
i need a colonoscopy!
love, _____

result:
I heart Mint tea ,ginger tea helps belly with gas.

result two:
I heard , nor heart

{ 3 comments }

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (414 votes, average: 4.72 out of 5)
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For my first trip to Korea, my family’s homeland, my mother very neatly sowed a ziplock bag filled with three hundred dollars to the crotch of my favorite pair of underwear. When I protested, she said to me, “li-bah-kah! Never trust Korean people!” Then she showed me how to hand wash them every night with ivory soap so that the money wouldn’t get wet.

{ 16 comments }

From God to Gangsters

May 4, 2009

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (356 votes, average: 4.63 out of 5)
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When I was in sixth grade, I walked into the living room while my mother was watching a movie. She looks at me horrified and says, “What kind of movie is this?” I picked up the box. It’s Godfather – mom, this movie is really violent. It’s about gangsters. “It’s not about God?” No mom, that’s God THE Father, this is THE Godfather.

{ 1 comment }

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (865 votes, average: 4.85 out of 5)
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My mom wanted to give me a card before my move to New York. She had this one lying around…

Me: Mom, this is a business card about financial investment!
Mom: Well… we talk about your Roth IRA?

{ 35 comments }

No trespassing, okay?

May 4, 2009

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (239 votes, average: 4.83 out of 5)
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Fear them but uhh, love them too

{ 4 comments }