June 2009

I found Oliver!

June 24, 2009

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (465 votes, average: 4.84 out of 5)
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{ 19 comments }

Taste test

June 24, 2009

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (237 votes, average: 3.98 out of 5)
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I was sick, and my mom decided to bring me some tea.
Me: Mom! This is super hot! I can’t drink this!
Mom: No no, it’s ok. Look. *takes a sip*
Me: *stares at her wide-eyed* Have you lost all of your tastebuds?!
Mom: TASTEBUTTS?! I don’t have tasebutts! You have tastebutts!

{ 5 comments }

In search of weaponry

June 24, 2009

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (586 votes, average: 4.84 out of 5)
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I walked into my room and saw my mom on the computer. I thought, nothing weird about that, but then I looked at the monitor. She was on a website titled Chinese Weapons. All she said was, “I’m looking for nunchucks.”

{ 8 comments }

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (938 votes, average: 4.84 out of 5)
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Me: I don’t think I’m gonna do too well on my exams.
Mom (jokingly): You will do good on exams. Because if you don’t do good on exams, I will fuck you! Do you want to get fucked?!

{ 28 comments }

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (443 votes, average: 4.80 out of 5)
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Mom: I don’t feel like going to work today. I want to play hooker.
Me: You mean, HOOKEY?!

{ 5 comments }

Seductive examinations

June 14, 2009

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (325 votes, average: 4.54 out of 5)
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Ma: I do not want to colonoscopy. That’s OK. The nurse said I will be seduced.
Me: You mean, SEDATED?!
Ma: Oh. Yeah.

{ 3 comments }

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (224 votes, average: 3.79 out of 5)
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From: motherwu
Date: Mon, Jun 8, 2009 at 9:59 AM
Subject: Re: EMT job

“don de esta el bon yon?” I used it in Peru, people were IMPRESSED!!!!

love, mom

{ 9 comments }

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (503 votes, average: 4.80 out of 5)
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I came over to my gf’s house one time and I had a stomachache. This is the conversation I had with her mother who is a nurse.


Girlfriend’s mom:
Do you want something to eat?
Me: No, I’m not hungry.
Girlfriend’s mom: Why not?
Me: I’m not feeling well. My stomach really hurts…
Girlfriend’s mom: (Deep in thought) Ohhh… It’s probably you have problem with your intesticles.

{ 4 comments }