(62 votes, average: 4.45 out of 5)
Loading ...Mom: Oh Ashley, I like these kinds of movies so much! *happy asian mommy smile*
Me: What kind?
Mom: You know, chick filets!
Me: (silence) OH! You mean chick flicks?!
{ 1 comment }
2010
(62 votes, average: 4.45 out of 5) Loading ... (43 votes, average: 4.60 out of 5) Loading ...This is an email my mom sent me filled with advice on all kinds of protection — from unwanted pregnancies all the way down to dry, chapped feet. She made sure to cover all her bases.
Missy, i am glad you are protected with the pills. is always be prepared than sorry.
when it’s cold, wear sock at home or to sleep ,if you can,use a little hot oilment under neath the
feet palm before you wear sock ,i am Ok,now try to go back routine,
mom
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(96 votes, average: 4.81 out of 5) Loading ...dearest daughter karen, how are you ,i have try many day to mail you in gmail , finally i rich the buttom ,i am in china, but my heart in you ,dear, i don.t want to talking like a broken record, from you i remember that your grandmom always telling me not to do this or that, just like a broken record, i always not to listen ,now i understsand the meaning of what she had done, that she knows she cant help me by any chances, so she wish to help me by her voice, every word she spoke is with out meaning ,but everyword she spoke is from her heart ,she put everyword kile a bullte, wish to shit down your enemy, to shit away your trouble, dear karen now that i under stand, and this i am alright now. love you
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(83 votes, average: 4.55 out of 5) Loading ...Mom: U r member of Asian club now? Do u have time to study ?
Me: Yes i have time, and yes i’m a member.
Mom: In college or hi school?
Me: College.
Mom: Is that the same angel club ? From the government?
Me: What are you talking about?!
Mom: The 1 in hi school?
Me: No mom. That’s the anchor club and student government.
Mom: R u studing?
Me: Yes mom.
Mom: Is this student government too?
Me: No. It’s the asian club.
Mom: R they related to your school ? Is good 4 u future?
Me: Yes mom, it’s good for my future.
Mom: Ok! Do u have to know chinese ? Is that private?
Me: What do you mean private? No i don’t need to know chinese.
Mom: It mean not government is private group ? Do u know much about it?
Me: What? yes, i know about it, i’m a member. It’s a school club mom.
Mom: Ok ! Do the best u can mommy don’t know all-about it, your future depend on u ok !
Mom: Good night ! Love u.
Me: I know mom, good night, i love you too.
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(79 votes, average: 4.57 out of 5) Loading ...Woke up to this note taped on my laptop this morning. It reads:
“Mett, You need to walk dog for bowel movement this morning.”
(How come my mom can’t spell “Matt”?)
{ 4 comments }
(55 votes, average: 4.38 out of 5) Loading ...
I told my mom that I was going to see the big Giants parade. On my bike because transportation is terrible and the weather’s been nice.
This morning, in addition to the too much food breakfast she always prepares and I only eat a bit of out of guilt^filial piety, I get this heartfelt note:
Here is the original text:
?????????? ?> ??deep zipper??
better leave bike at office while in Civic Center no room for bike too many ?
????bandage.
???????????????
Camera ???????
Dad ???
?!
And the rough Chinglish translation:
You *must* wear a helmet and long pants -> they must have deep zipper zipper (yes, she wrote zipper in Chinese AND English)
better leave bike at office while in Civic Center no room for bike too many people.
Bring a bottle of water and bandages (pictured)
You must be absolutely careful. Be safe from pickpockets, put your wallet away.
Hold onto your Camera when taking a picture.
Dad wants you to be safe, too!
{ 9 comments }
(106 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5) Loading ...This is the email I got from my mother after a phone conversation about how boring studying can be.
———- Forwarded message ———-
From: [Mom]
Date: Wed, Nov 3, 2010 at 12:28 AM
Subject: just want to cheer you up
To: Joyce Fung
Hi Joyce,
Just want to cheer you up!!! Hip Hip Hurray!
Mom
{ 3 comments }
(176 votes, average: 4.85 out of 5) Loading ...Me: Hi Mama, whatcha cooking?
Mama: Today it rain too much and I make the orgasmic green bean.
Me: Orga … huh?
Mama: Orgasmic, when the ground has no chemical, only animal poo poo to make the vegetable grow. Charging extra.
Me: ORGANIC Mama. It’s Organic!
Mama: What this orgasmic mean? Orgasmic different from organic how? What I say wrong (said while smiling like a crazy person)
Me: (laughing hysterically)
Mama: Bad girl, laughing at Mama … yallah tell me, what I say wrong?
{ 11 comments }
(59 votes, average: 4.80 out of 5) Loading ...My mother just sent me this recipe. She spent over $100 on ginseng and some other Chinese herbs so that I can make “sum chai” on my own.
From: Janet H
To: Crystal H
Subject: Sum Chai – 2 way of making it . One for home and one for work -please do not waste my money
1. Powder – very easy – at your own paste just like coffee. Please don’t be too weak, the more bitter the better. I think they have the spoon inside the jar. I spoon it good enough.
2. Separate pieces (like wood) and Gay-Chi (the red seed) This is more for WORK – Boil the water, put 5 pieces of sum and 10 red seeds and put boiling water. After you finish drinking it, continue to put hot water until no taste. You can drink for whole day. Like 5 cups.
As I told you is very good for your system and your skin. I hope you feel better and put a lot of cream on your face and I don’t want you to be an old lady.
mom
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