(122 votes, average: 4.45 out of 5)
Loading ...I emailed my mom telling her I had 2 extra tickets for graduation and was giving one to my boyfriend and she sent me this reply:
Jessica,
Ask Gene to have dinner with us on 6/12. One ticket to Lube?
You have 2 and half months for free, what’s you plan?
How about this weekend?
Mom
At first, I didn’t know what she was referring to as Lube but after I called her, she said, “L-U-B-E … isn’t that how you spell Ruby’s name?”
{ 6 comments }
(365 votes, average: 4.85 out of 5) Loading ...My mom recently learned “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” to sing to my son.
“Tha itchy bitchy spider went up water spout…”
{ 12 comments }
(101 votes, average: 3.22 out of 5) Loading ...My brother recently experienced some relationship problems and my mom wanted him back home so she could babysit my nephew (her grandson). I’m visiting him this weekend, and here was my mom’s advice:
When u leave Sat, Richard does need u as he listens to u not us n if he quit his job he can get unemployment n live here n learn computers.
p.s. he needs to meet Asian girl too.
{ 4 comments }
(199 votes, average: 4.52 out of 5) Loading ...My mom was trying to book a plane ticket to go visit her sister in San Francisco:
Mom: Aunt Esther get free plane ticket because she is freaky flyer
Me: Freaky flyer?!
Mom: She fly all the time!
Me: Oh! FREQUENT flyer!
{ 6 comments }
(161 votes, average: 4.72 out of 5) Loading ...Daughter,
We attended June’s wedding last Saturday. it’s very nice. food is good too. small size just like yours.
she looks very beautiful the groom is very handsome, just a little bit too short. very good young man with great furniture.
Love you,
Mommy
{ 8 comments }
(140 votes, average: 4.44 out of 5) Loading ...I left my dog, Grizzly, at home with my mom for a week while I went on Spring Break. During that time, I received a very concerned email from her:
Sometimes he made love with pillow, lick his g-g*. 20 min. ago, his g-g was very long. The length is about my middle finger. Don’t know if you know about these thing. He is only under 3 yrs old. Last year when I was in Taiwan taking care of Ruby, there was a female dog in “?” period (don’t know the english). The smell from her last one week. Thus some male dogs always follow her. Grizzly’s case, I don’t know why he showed this kind of reaction.
*It sounds like penis in Chinese.
{ 7 comments }
(191 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5) Loading ...Mike,
I heard you will go to Las Vegas for a Bachelor party. I concern of the event.
One should consider himself with Dignity in Respectful manner. Reckless people might want to put you in Test. Specially while you’re in toxic(alcohol), suggesting you to do some activities that you shouldn’t ever do, like sleeping with a dangerous girl.
When I mentioned my concerns to Simmons, he told me about [Hang over] movie. I’m not sure what is about that movie, but keep in mind that Marriage is one step of Maturity process to become responsible in order to make a Family unit, which include a child. So don’t get tricked by less sincere people’s attempt to ruin your life.
Enjoy your life as mush, but always remind yourself that you have a wide awakened conscious is observing you to guide you in Light to make you eventually an Enlighten one.
I trust you always, but because of my caution I had to mention this.
with great love,
Mom
{ 20 comments }
Believe it or not, My Mom is a Fob is now available in print! Not only does the book showcase your favorite entries as well as never-before-published submissions, it also features essays by the authors, Teresa and Serena Wu, and a forward by comedian Margaret Cho! Grab your copy of the book today on Amazon, Borders, or Barnes & Noble!
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