(77 votes, average: 4.56 out of 5)
Loading ...Woke up to this note taped on my laptop this morning. It reads:
“Mett, You need to walk dog for bowel movement this morning.”
(How come my mom can’t spell “Matt”?)
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November 2010
(77 votes, average: 4.56 out of 5) Loading ... (54 votes, average: 4.39 out of 5) Loading ...
I told my mom that I was going to see the big Giants parade. On my bike because transportation is terrible and the weather’s been nice.
This morning, in addition to the too much food breakfast she always prepares and I only eat a bit of out of guilt^filial piety, I get this heartfelt note:
Here is the original text:
?????????? ?> ??deep zipper??
better leave bike at office while in Civic Center no room for bike too many ?
????bandage.
???????????????
Camera ???????
Dad ???
?!
And the rough Chinglish translation:
You *must* wear a helmet and long pants -> they must have deep zipper zipper (yes, she wrote zipper in Chinese AND English)
better leave bike at office while in Civic Center no room for bike too many people.
Bring a bottle of water and bandages (pictured)
You must be absolutely careful. Be safe from pickpockets, put your wallet away.
Hold onto your Camera when taking a picture.
Dad wants you to be safe, too!
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(103 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5) Loading ...This is the email I got from my mother after a phone conversation about how boring studying can be.
———- Forwarded message ———-
From: [Mom]
Date: Wed, Nov 3, 2010 at 12:28 AM
Subject: just want to cheer you up
To: Joyce Fung
Hi Joyce,
Just want to cheer you up!!! Hip Hip Hurray!
Mom
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(174 votes, average: 4.84 out of 5) Loading ...Me: Hi Mama, whatcha cooking?
Mama: Today it rain too much and I make the orgasmic green bean.
Me: Orga … huh?
Mama: Orgasmic, when the ground has no chemical, only animal poo poo to make the vegetable grow. Charging extra.
Me: ORGANIC Mama. It’s Organic!
Mama: What this orgasmic mean? Orgasmic different from organic how? What I say wrong (said while smiling like a crazy person)
Me: (laughing hysterically)
Mama: Bad girl, laughing at Mama … yallah tell me, what I say wrong?
{ 11 comments }
(58 votes, average: 4.79 out of 5) Loading ...My mother just sent me this recipe. She spent over $100 on ginseng and some other Chinese herbs so that I can make “sum chai” on my own.
From: Janet H
To: Crystal H
Subject: Sum Chai – 2 way of making it . One for home and one for work -please do not waste my money
1. Powder – very easy – at your own paste just like coffee. Please don’t be too weak, the more bitter the better. I think they have the spoon inside the jar. I spoon it good enough.
2. Separate pieces (like wood) and Gay-Chi (the red seed) This is more for WORK – Boil the water, put 5 pieces of sum and 10 red seeds and put boiling water. After you finish drinking it, continue to put hot water until no taste. You can drink for whole day. Like 5 cups.
As I told you is very good for your system and your skin. I hope you feel better and put a lot of cream on your face and I don’t want you to be an old lady.
mom
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