2012

Seeking nice b*tches

May 6, 2012

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One time we were in California on a family vacation and my mom was driving around looking for a nice beach for us to hang out at.  She pulls up to a pedestrian, rolls down her window and asks, “Excuse me do you if there are any nice bitches around here?”

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Shake it

May 6, 2012

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For the longest time, my mom didn’t know that one line from “Hey Ya!” by Outkast goes “shake it like a polaroid picture!” Up until the time I corrected her, she’s been singing “shake it like a bowl of pizza!”

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You Are What You Eat

February 11, 2012

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Mom: and today tony had a surgery ,cut some things from nect [tony is my dad, and she meant neck]
Me: what? what things?
Mom: meat
Me: why?
Mom: meat ball
Me: hahahahaha so nothing bad?
Mom: he eat too much meat so it grow in the neck

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