
Loading ...
One time we were in California on a family vacation and my mom was driving around looking for a nice beach for us to hang out at. She pulls up to a pedestrian, rolls down her window and asks, “Excuse me do you if there are any nice bitches around here?”

Loading ...
For the longest time, my mom didn’t know that one line from “Hey Ya!” by Outkast goes “shake it like a polaroid picture!” Up until the time I corrected her, she’s been singing “shake it like a bowl of pizza!”

Loading ...
Mom: and today tony had a surgery ,cut some things from nect [tony is my dad, and she meant neck]
Me: what? what things?
Mom: meat
Me: why?
Mom: meat ball
Me: hahahahaha so nothing bad?
Mom: he eat too much meat so it grow in the neck