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My mother is currently visiting relatives in Taiwan and sent me the following email:
Dear Jo:
Here is rain everywhere, whole day, whole weeks. I don’t how long we have take it. Food is very where, however we can’t take too much by our age.
Vegetable and fruit are so fresh. But virus and illness are everywhere also.
I become much younger looking.
Love Mom
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One time we were in California on a family vacation and my mom was driving around looking for a nice beach for us to hang out at. She pulls up to a pedestrian, rolls down her window and asks, “Excuse me do you if there are any nice bitches around here?”
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For the longest time, my mom didn’t know that one line from “Hey Ya!” by Outkast goes “shake it like a polaroid picture!” Up until the time I corrected her, she’s been singing “shake it like a bowl of pizza!”
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Mom: and today tony had a surgery ,cut some things from nect [tony is my dad, and she meant neck]
Me: what? what things?
Mom: meat
Me: why?
Mom: meat ball
Me: hahahahaha so nothing bad?
Mom: he eat too much meat so it grow in the neck
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Mom: Today I learned something new at work.
Me: What’s that?
Mom: What day is today?
Me: Wednesday?
Mom: Yes, so then?
Me: I don’t get it.
Mom: Wednesday is the humping day!! Halfway done work so means it is the humping day for everyone!!!
Me: MOM It’s not “humping” day, it’s “HUMP” day, like the hump of a camel or a mountain!!!
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My mom, sister and I are at the mall.
Mom: Do we need to go to Hot Pocket?
Sister: … You mean Hot Topic?
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Mom: You know that show “You Are A Loser”?
Me: You mean “Biggest Loser”?
Mom: Yeah that one.
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Our mom tries to keep the windows splatter-free.
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Subject: hi Mess
your new nick name is Mess because you are a mess. work harder on your career.
mom
(14 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5)
(9 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
