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Yesterday we were in the tile shop, and my lovely mother was discussing with the shopkeeper about the problems she had with her carpet. Basically, the man said that problem was a big one, and that whoever installed the carpet was really stupid. Being frustrated, my mother asked innocently, “What should I do then? Bang them all?”
The man replied, “I don’t think you should, but you go ahead and do what you think is right.”
My sister and I could barely keep a straight face…
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My mom got me a cake to celebrate my law school graduation:
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Getting ready to drive on a rainy night.
Mom: Be careful!
Me:OK.
Mom: You know, if you die your Dad will kill you. I not responsible if Dad kill you.
Me: Hahaha, OK.
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It’s hot here now but manageable. My biggest problem is the mosquitoes. I get at least one bite per minute outside. The bite turn
into a big bump right away and itchy. I am afraid to go outside now. if I do go outside, I shake my arms and stomp my feet like a lunatic. Luckily, the bump would go away the next day and doesn’t leave any mark. You might be wondering why didn’t I just smack the mosquitoes, they are small and quick just like all Taiwanese:), and I hardly feel the sting because I’ve become a trusty American, ha ha.
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My darling Korean mother struggles to remember the name of the place my sister went during her last vacation in Peru. She calls it “Mucho Coochie.”
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“Any women their husband cheat on them they should cut off his dingy and put it in the disposal.”
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From: Mom
Date: Wed, Jul 6, 2011 at 4:33 PM
Subject: waiting for car in Toyota
To: Simon
Simon Its interesting here, my car recall for the brake , I am in Toyota now waiting to fix it and they have the Internet service so write you Mom
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Mom: (screams my full name in Chinese) Come here!! Something wrong with computer!!
Me: (goes into the study to see what’s wrong)
Mom: It keep tell me to press ‘any’ key to continue!
Me: Yeah and…? So just press any key to continue…
Mom: (getting really frustrated and angry) I TRY BUT I DON’T SEE THE ‘ANY’ KEY!!! WHERE IS IT?!?!
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Me: Hey mama! There’s a mymomisafob.com.
Mom: No thanks. I don’t want a membership.
Me: …………
Me: You don’t apply for one.
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