Conversations

Happy Humping Day

November 18, 2011

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (33 votes, average: 3.88 out of 5)
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Mom: Today I learned something new at work.
Me: What’s that?
Mom: What day is today?
Me: Wednesday?
Mom: Yes, so then?
Me: I don’t get it.
Mom: Wednesday is the humping day!! Halfway done work so means it is the humping day for everyone!!!
Me: MOM It’s not “humping” day, it’s “HUMP” day, like the hump of a camel or a mountain!!!

{ 12 comments }

Tasty Topic

November 13, 2011

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (28 votes, average: 4.25 out of 5)
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My mom, sister and I are at the mall.
Mom: Do we need to go to Hot Pocket?
Sister: … You mean Hot Topic?

{ 10 comments }

You are a Loser

October 29, 2011

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (41 votes, average: 4.51 out of 5)
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Mom: You know that show “You Are A Loser”?
Me: You mean “Biggest Loser”?
Mom: Yeah that one.

{ 6 comments }

Rainy Day Omen

September 25, 2011

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (41 votes, average: 4.17 out of 5)
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Getting ready to drive on a rainy night.

Mom: Be careful!
Me:OK.
Mom: You know, if you die your Dad will kill you. I not responsible if Dad kill you.
Me: Hahaha, OK.

{ 10 comments }

Press Any Key

August 8, 2011

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (91 votes, average: 4.13 out of 5)
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Mom: (screams my full name in Chinese) Come here!! Something wrong with computer!!
Me: (goes into the study to see what’s wrong)
Mom: It keep tell me to press ‘any’ key to continue!
Me: Yeah and…? So just press any key to continue…
Mom: (getting really frustrated and angry) I TRY BUT I DON’T SEE THE ‘ANY’ KEY!!! WHERE IS IT?!?!

{ 12 comments }

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (55 votes, average: 3.85 out of 5)
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Me: Hey mama! There’s a mymomisafob.com.
Mom: No thanks. I don’t want a membership.
Me: …………
Me: You don’t apply for one.

{ 1 comment }

Rape Music

July 21, 2011

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (63 votes, average: 4.49 out of 5)
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My mom was so excited when she took me the first time to this Vietnamese night club in Westminster. She goes there often with her friends.

While snacking on some food and waiting for the music to come on…
Mom:This place is soooo good, they play live music, and they even play the rape music.”
Me: What’s rape music Mom?
Mom:You know the dance music, I like dancing to the rape music. We can dance together when the rape music comes on. (she does a little shake in her chair) You will love it.

{ 7 comments }

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (98 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5)
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I’m an Emergency Medicine physician. At Thanksgiving dinner, my family members were talking about how long they had to wait in the ER waiting room when they each had various illnesses.

My Filipino mom: I saw a doctor fast, that time I had crabs.
(dead silence from everyone at the table)
Me: When she had an ALLERGIC REACTION after eating crabs.
Rest of family: Ahhh, OK…

{ 7 comments }

Aladdin’s Death

June 18, 2011

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (131 votes, average: 4.66 out of 5)
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Mom: Are you glad Aladdin was killed?
Me: You mean Bin Ladin?

{ 2 comments }

Groupon Suspicions

June 14, 2011

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (25 votes, average: 3.76 out of 5)
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{ 1 comment }