(14 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5)
Loading ...One time we were in California on a family vacation and my mom was driving around looking for a nice beach for us to hang out at. She pulls up to a pedestrian, rolls down her window and asks, “Excuse me do you if there are any nice bitches around here?”
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(57 votes, average: 4.47 out of 5) Loading ...My darling Korean mother struggles to remember the name of the place my sister went during her last vacation in Peru. She calls it “Mucho Coochie.”
{ 3 comments }
(53 votes, average: 4.66 out of 5) Loading ...“Any women their husband cheat on them they should cut off his dingy and put it in the disposal.”
{ 3 comments }
(89 votes, average: 4.44 out of 5) Loading ...I was walking downstairs to the subway when a crosswind blew up my dress. I texted my sister to tell her about the free show I just gave everyone behind me, and she passed the story to my mom, who said,
“I hope she’s not wearing tongs!”
{ 1 comment }
(151 votes, average: 4.68 out of 5) Loading ...My mom was on the phone with me, and I told her that I was at a pretty well known Italian chain restaurant in our area, Buca Di Beppo’s. When I went home, my sister said my mom told her:
“Your sister went to Peptodibismo!”
{ 9 comments }
(365 votes, average: 4.85 out of 5) Loading ...My mom recently learned “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” to sing to my son.
“Tha itchy bitchy spider went up water spout…”
{ 12 comments }
(533 votes, average: 4.85 out of 5) Loading ...I was on my way to my internship via subway in Korea one summer and this 60-year old man decided he wanted to hit on me. He came over and told me he would give me his name card and after I rejected him I texted my mom to tell her what happened. Her reply: “psycho like that need to get their penis thin sliced. mommy good at cooking and chopping, i do it for you. take his name card.”
{ 22 comments }
(283 votes, average: 4.65 out of 5) Loading ...Last week, my mom was watching the news that a terrorist was stopped by passengers on a plane during Christmas.
Mom: “We almost had another 7-11 this Christmas, thank god the terrorist was stopped!”
{ 5 comments }
(207 votes, average: 3.85 out of 5) Loading ...As we’re passing Jamba Juice, where the sign is very obviously displayed:
Mom: “Do you want to go to Jamaica Juice?”
{ 6 comments }
(168 votes, average: 3.49 out of 5) Loading ...This is from my mom when i told her that my friend is a dog groomer, & she could come over to our place to groom our dog (flubber).
“is your grommer ok or not,otherwise my flubber will become an ugly duck.”
{ 7 comments }
Believe it or not, My Mom is a Fob is now available in print! Not only does the book showcase your favorite entries as well as never-before-published submissions, it also features essays by the authors, Teresa and Serena Wu, and a forward by comedian Margaret Cho! Grab your copy of the book today on Amazon, Borders, or Barnes & Noble!
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