Archive for the Quotes Category
Posted on August 18, 2010 at 12:58pm
I was walking downstairs to the subway when a crosswind blew up my dress. I texted my sister to tell her about the free show I just gave everyone behind me, and she passed the story to my mom, who said,
“I hope she’s not wearing tongs!”
Posted on June 28, 2010 at 05:02pm
My mom was on the phone with me, and I told her that I was at a pretty well known Italian chain restaurant in our area, Buca Di Beppo’s. When I went home, my sister said my mom told her:
“Your sister went to Peptodibismo!”
Posted on May 20, 2010 at 12:08pm
My mom recently learned “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” to sing to my son.
“Tha itchy bitchy spider went up water spout…”
Posted on April 15, 2010 at 05:49pm
I was on my way to my internship via subway in Korea one summer and this 60-year old man decided he wanted to hit on me. He came over and told me he would give me his name card and after I rejected him I texted my mom to tell her what happened. Her reply: “psycho like that need to get their penis thin sliced. mommy good at cooking and chopping, i do it for you. take his name card.”
Posted on January 7, 2010 at 12:02pm
Last week, my mom was watching the news that a terrorist was stopped by passengers on a plane during Christmas.
Mom: “We almost had another 7-11 this Christmas, thank god the terrorist was stopped!”
Posted on August 8, 2009 at 06:02am
As we’re passing Jamba Juice, where the sign is very obviously displayed:
Mom: “Do you want to go to Jamaica Juice?”
Posted on July 1, 2009 at 04:01pm
This is from my mom when i told her that my friend is a dog groomer, & she could come over to our place to groom our dog (flubber).
“is your grommer ok or not,otherwise my flubber will become an ugly duck.”
Posted on April 30, 2009 at 01:58pm
“Never give anyone a free trial and take your product home. They must pay full amount first. Because if they get free trial, I know because I sell cosmetics for so many years, they will always return product.”
Posted on April 28, 2009 at 11:23am
“Don’t be easy. Don’t be like a cow. Chinese people say, if a boy gets the milk for free, he has no need to buy the cow.”
Posted on April 4, 2009 at 01:45am
When my mom talks about an “open-hook car,” she MEANS to say open-hood, and by hood, she means roof, so she actually means “convertible.”
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