(309 votes, average: 4.62 out of 5)
Loading ...My (Korean) mother has trouble getting celebrity names straight. There are a few that she ALWAYS mixes up, no matter how many times I correct her:
“Bronze Pierce” (Pierce Brosnan)
“Goldie Whoopberg” (Whoopi Goldberg … and when I correct her, she asks “What kind of name is Whoopi?” and proceeds to say it wrong again the next time)
“PeeDiddilly” (P.Diddy)
“Joe Low” (J.Lo)
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(276 votes, average: 4.54 out of 5) Loading ...My Caucasian dad’s a pastor of an American church. There are no Koreans in the church except my mom. After Bible study, there were prayer requests. My mom raised her hand and gave hers…
“Peas pray po man at work, he goin thru bad circumcisions. He needa our prayers.”
She meant circumstances, NOT circumcision. Imagine my dad’s and my reaction during prayer requests. Let’s just say, it’s quite inappropriate for the Pastor and pastor’s daughter to be laughing during prayer requests.
{ 10 comments }
(317 votes, average: 4.79 out of 5) Loading ...Time: within one hour of getting off the plane
Location: Sea Empress Restaurant at a dim sum table
Activity: order dim sum
Event: As my mom was sitting down on my right, she saw my acnes on my right cheek. She shook her head as she sighed. I asked, “What is it, ma?”, though I could already guess what it is. However, I did not expect this answer. She said, “After seeing your face, I don’t have appetite no more.”
Fix: From that day on, I wore make up everyday before seeing her.
{ 11 comments }
(359 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5) Loading ...My mom sent me a text during class
Mom: Today i want you go home and do grass.
she meant mow the lawn
{ 5 comments }
(187 votes, average: 4.17 out of 5) Loading ...my mom just opened a facebook account today. a few hours later…
“what did you do to me 28 times on the internet???”
(i tagged her in that many photos).
{ 2 comments }
(141 votes, average: 4.17 out of 5) Loading ...“Do you have lot of pimples now? When Mommy your age I not have pimples because I have no hormones because I very skinny. You eat cheese, so you have fat, so you have lots of hormones so lots of pimples.”
{ 10 comments }
(311 votes, average: 4.74 out of 5) Loading ...My friend won homecoming king last year. His mom was up on the stage with him when he won and as they were walking off she offered her congratulations: “Can you put this on your college apps?”
{ 5 comments }
(489 votes, average: 4.84 out of 5) Loading ...We own a dude ranch, and my Taiwanese FoB mother is the cook. One day, a guest brought back a fresh trout for her. She cooked it up, put it on a platter, and thinking she was being very polite in offering the best part of the fish, stood in the dining room and said, “Would anybody like some head?”
{ 7 comments }
(142 votes, average: 3.53 out of 5) Loading ...On Barack Obama’s upcoming inauguration:
“It is so great to finally have an intelligent president. I think he will definitely expire the younger generations.”
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(237 votes, average: 4.77 out of 5) Loading ... My mom was sick and I went to her room to bring her some tea. Quick
back story, I have a jewelry line on the side. And in her bedridden
delirium, the first thing she says to me:
“How come you have no boob? You need to make a lot of jewelry and get boob job.”
{ 8 comments }
Believe it or not, My Mom is a Fob is now available in print! Not only does the book showcase your favorite entries as well as never-before-published submissions, it also features essays by the authors, Teresa and Serena Wu, and a forward by comedian Margaret Cho! Grab your copy of the book today on Amazon, Borders, or Barnes & Noble!
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