Archive for the Stories Category
Posted on November 15, 2009 at 06:44pm
Today, I was wrapping some Nike Dunks, a birthday present for a friend, when my mom came into my room with a handful of gaudy smiley face napkins. She claimed that the napkins’ colors matched the shoes perfectly, and that the smileys would make my friend “happy happy”. She then proceeded to fold little flowers out of them and stuck them in the tops of the shoes before wrapping them. She’s cute. And has an eagle eye for color.
Posted on July 29, 2009 at 04:50am
I walk into the living room one day and find my mom standing in front of the coffee table shuffling her feet. She’s staring intently at her laptop screen with what appears to be a youtube exercise tutorial playing in the back. I ask her what she’s doing and she responds proudly, “The moonwalk!”
Posted on June 24, 2009 at 04:09pm
I walked into my room and saw my mom on the computer. I thought, nothing weird about that, but then I looked at the monitor. She was on a website titled Chinese Weapons. All she said was, “I’m looking for nunchucks.”
Posted on May 4, 2009 at 02:53am
For my first trip to Korea, my family’s homeland, my mother very neatly sowed a ziplock bag filled with three hundred dollars to the crotch of my favorite pair of underwear. When I protested, she said to me, “li-bah-kah! Never trust Korean people!” Then she showed me how to hand wash them every night with ivory soap so that the money wouldn’t get wet.
Posted on May 4, 2009 at 02:52am
When I was in sixth grade, I walked into the living room while my mother was watching a movie. She looks at me horrified and says, “What kind of movie is this?” I picked up the box. It’s Godfather – mom, this movie is really violent. It’s about gangsters. “It’s not about God?” No mom, that’s God THE Father, this is THE Godfather.
Posted on March 10, 2009 at 11:14am
“My parents’ intent was to name me Stephanie.”
-Staphanie Tung
Posted on March 3, 2009 at 01:56am
My adorable grandma needed to make dinner for some very important people from the American Embassy and she couldn’t understand the English grocery labels, so she bought some canned meat, served it, and it was a hit.
Later that night, my grandpa looked in the trash and lo and behold…
…the guests had a Purina meal fit for a pup!
Posted on February 25, 2009 at 11:30pm
So last night I went downstairs to get my nightly cup of water and saw my mommy making my lunch. I started laughing because she was taking out a slice of bread from the bag, placing it on the clear wrap, then grabbing some ham to put on the bread—all with chopsticks. I chuckled and asked, “LOL Mommy.. why are you making my sandwich with chopsticks??!?”
She stared at me for a while and finally responded, “I don’t want to get my hands dirty…”
…and continued to make the sandwich.
Posted on February 3, 2009 at 03:43pm
My girlfriend (who submitted the Prostate Eyebars one) forgot to submit one of my favorite fob moments from her mom.
A while ago, she was telling me for the hundredth time about about a great food her mom sometimes serves, called Binker. Something finally clicked in my head, and I asked her if she had ever seen the name of this food written out. She said no, so I told her to call her mom and ask her how to spell it.
“B… E… A… N… C… U… R… D.”
She had been going around saying this inherited non-word for 21 years.
Oh, also, until she was probably 10, she thought that after bathing, one dried off with towers.
(4.88 out of 5)