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It’s hot here now but manageable. My biggest problem is the mosquitoes. I get at least one bite per minute outside. The bite turn
into a big bump right away and itchy. I am afraid to go outside now. if I do go outside, I shake my arms and stomp my feet like a lunatic. Luckily, the bump would go away the next day and doesn’t leave any mark. You might be wondering why didn’t I just smack the mosquitoes, they are small and quick just like all Taiwanese:), and I hardly feel the sting because I’ve become a trusty American, ha ha.
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My darling Korean mother struggles to remember the name of the place my sister went during her last vacation in Peru. She calls it “Mucho Coochie.”
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“Any women their husband cheat on them they should cut off his dingy and put it in the disposal.”
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From: Mom
Date: Wed, Jul 6, 2011 at 4:33 PM
Subject: waiting for car in Toyota
To: Simon
Simon Its interesting here, my car recall for the brake , I am in Toyota now waiting to fix it and they have the Internet service so write you Mom
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Mom: (screams my full name in Chinese) Come here!! Something wrong with computer!!
Me: (goes into the study to see what’s wrong)
Mom: It keep tell me to press ‘any’ key to continue!
Me: Yeah and…? So just press any key to continue…
Mom: (getting really frustrated and angry) I TRY BUT I DON’T SEE THE ‘ANY’ KEY!!! WHERE IS IT?!?!
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Me: Hey mama! There’s a mymomisafob.com.
Mom: No thanks. I don’t want a membership.
Me: …………
Me: You don’t apply for one.
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My mom was so excited when she took me the first time to this Vietnamese night club in Westminster. She goes there often with her friends.
While snacking on some food and waiting for the music to come on…
Mom:This place is soooo good, they play live music, and they even play the rape music.”
Me: What’s rape music Mom?
Mom:You know the dance music, I like dancing to the rape music. We can dance together when the rape music comes on. (she does a little shake in her chair) You will love it.
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I’m an Emergency Medicine physician. At Thanksgiving dinner, my family members were talking about how long they had to wait in the ER waiting room when they each had various illnesses.
My Filipino mom: I saw a doctor fast, that time I had crabs.
(dead silence from everyone at the table)
Me: When she had an ALLERGIC REACTION after eating crabs.
Rest of family: Ahhh, OK…
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“Do not eat boba. It is causing cancer.”
