Merphins for Breakfast

Posted on June 28, 2010 at 05:05pm

With iPhone in hand my mother she provides joy with her texting skills. It’s actually kind of cute but extremely frustrating when you are pressed for time.
Me: Coming to ur house now. Do you want McDonald’s?
Mom: Dad ya.
Me: What does he get?
Me:
i’m in the drive in…i can’t remember…hurry
Mom: Merphin w Dosage*
Me: What?

Merphin w Dosage = Muffin w Sausage

View Comments

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (116 votes, average: 4.57 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

Buca di Bismo

Posted on June 28, 2010 at 05:02pm

My mom was on the phone with me, and I told her that I was at a pretty well known Italian chain restaurant in our area, Buca Di Beppo’s. When I went home, my sister said my mom told her:

“Your sister went to Peptodibismo!”

View Comments

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (91 votes, average: 4.68 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

Big Yellow Car, Little Yellow Lady

Posted on June 18, 2010 at 07:23am

A normal summer afternoon, Mom washing the top of her H2.

View Comments

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (106 votes, average: 4.55 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

Wird Foot

Posted on June 18, 2010 at 07:21am

I was looking online at some shoes to send to my dad for Father’s Day. My mom got into texting recently, so I asked her through text message what my father’s shoe size is, and this is what she had to say (keep in mind my father has abnormally wide and short feet):

Me: What size shoe is daddy?
Mom: DonL buy .shoes is too pic. jhave he foot so wird. He have try my him self.

View Comments

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (47 votes, average: 3.91 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

Fashionably Ripped

Posted on June 15, 2010 at 07:28pm

My granny is a fob!

So I was about to take a shower today, and my 85-year-old granny asked me to help her to look for her reading glasses, needle and thread. I got them ready for her and head straight to the shower… until I realized I forgot my towels and head back out, only to see that my granny is about to sew up the “rips” from my $120 ripped jeans from Club Monaco!

I screamed and told her to STOP!

“They are ripped … I thought I’d sew it up for you. By the way, why would you buy a pair of ripped jeans? Check carefully when you buy jeans next time to make sure there are no rips.”

I think I also saw patches and I know she would’ve put them on my ripped jean, too. Thank God I stopped her in time — otherwise I’d have ended up with a completely sewn jeans with different color of patches around the knee area too.

View Comments

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (123 votes, average: 2.59 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

Wedgie Shoes

Posted on June 9, 2010 at 11:43am

I was trying to describe to my mom what kind of shoes she had bought me last month, since she claims to have forgotten. The following conversation took place while we were shopping:

Mom: Yes remind me what kind of shoes was it that I bought you?
Me:
They were wedges …
Mom: What are wedges?
Me:
Um, you know, they are like platforms, the shape looks like a wedge for a door-stopper.
Mom:
I still do not know what are these wedgies.  Show me what is a wedgie.

Couldn’t help but picture myself giving my mom a wedgie in the middle of the mall.

View Comments

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (71 votes, average: 3.96 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

Tips for Keeping a Boyfriend

Posted on June 1, 2010 at 10:46am

Melanie,

Once again, we are really happy that you have a sweet boy friend.

Mom just want to remind you, something may you need to change a little bit when you are having the relationship with Jeffery.

1. Be respect his decision, always ask i.e.. “what do you like to eat or what movie you like to watch…..” not just put yourself first, if he says “what do you like to….” then “I like to…. but if you like to….. I’m really okay with that”.  Like a little woman, don’t like me, talk loudly.

2. I know you are wearing pretty pretty everyday, but just remember the most boys they don’t like his girl friend always be a spot in class (because other boy will notice you also), sometimes just be nature like a normal college girl, of course, when you are going a party with him then you should wear very pretty.

3. Sometimes when you are with him in shopping, don’t be so greedy to see around fashion clothing, if he doesn’t know you very well, he will think you are a material girl only then nothing at all.  Show him sometimes you are very eager to plan to have future internship to earn some money, no ones will like a spending money girl friend.

4. Don’t be lazy all the time, give him a cup hot tea or help him clean up in his dorm.  Or cook something for him sometimes.  Show your talent for cooking (food channel girl).

5. Last thing, show your knowledge all the time, talk the subject his like, if he likes sport then talk sport……

Well, above tips should based on you are really like him first.  Hope you are having a good relationship with him.

Love
Mom

View Comments

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (205 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

One Ticket for Lube

Posted on May 25, 2010 at 04:15pm

I emailed my mom telling her I had 2 extra tickets for graduation and was giving one to my boyfriend and she sent me this reply:

Jessica,
Ask Gene to have dinner with us on 6/12. One ticket to Lube?
You have 2 and half months for free, what’s you plan?
How about this weekend?
Mom

At first, I didn’t know what she was referring to as Lube but after I called her, she said, “L-U-B-E … isn’t that how you spell Ruby’s name?”

View Comments

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (87 votes, average: 4.24 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

A PMSing Spider

Posted on May 20, 2010 at 12:08pm

My mom recently learned “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” to sing to my son.

“Tha itchy bitchy spider went up water spout…”

View Comments

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (249 votes, average: 4.84 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

Learn Computers and Meet Asian Girls?!

Posted on May 13, 2010 at 10:27pm

My brother recently experienced some relationship problems and my mom wanted him back home so she could babysit my nephew (her grandson). I’m visiting him this weekend, and here was my mom’s advice:

When u leave Sat, Richard does need u as he listens to u not us n if he quit his job he can get unemployment n live here n learn computers.

p.s. he needs to meet Asian girl too.

View Comments

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (80 votes, average: 3.08 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

Page 2 of 5812345102030...Last »

HEY MYMOMISAFOB READERS!

Send submissions and fan mail to mymomisafob(at)gmail.com.

Love,

Serena & Teresa

Highest rated: The all stars

Most Rated: The in crowd

Most Commented: The Gossip Group

Most Recent: The true fans

Join our Facebook fan page!

My Mom is a Fob on Facebook