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My mom recently came back from Taiwan and sent me a care package filled with Taiwanese goodies. I open the package and peanuts come spilling out everywhere. Apparently, these “Authentic Taiwanese” peanuts were originally in a bag, which wouldn’t fit in the USPS “Flat Rate” box. So to make the most out of her money, she poured the peanuts out of the bag, into the box and let them fill every nook and crevice of the box!
(It literally brings a new meaning to “packing peanuts!”)
Editor’s Note: OMG, pineapple cakes — your mom spoils you!
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I woke up to find this note on the microwave because the handle was broken. When I told my mom “touch” is spelled t-o-u-c-h she said, ”So you say it t-oh-ch and not t-uh-ch?”
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We’re on a hike in the Rocky Mountains…
Mom, pointing to a Slippery Jack mushroom: That mushroom has a sleazy top!
Me: Mmm, I think you mean “slimy”…
Mom: Yeah! Sleazy!
(I gotta tell her what sleazy top actually means!)
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After my mom scared me with a fake snake:
Me: *screams*
Mom: You a chicken freak! Freaky chicken!
Me: What are you talking about mom?
Mom: You know. Chicken freak. Like scare cat.
Me: Ohhhh haha it’s just chicken, Mom. Not freaky chicken.
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Mom: You have to work many hours to successful.
Brother: I just want an easy job where I can make a lot of money.
Mom: No. You have to work hard. You have to suck it.
Dad: I don’t think you said that right.
Mom: Just suck it.
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Check out my mom’s awesome hand-made couch cushions.
(The blue one was one of them “complimentary” *wink-wink* pillows that airplanes let you use for long flights.
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My mom left me this note to take care of her dog, Shiny, when she left on vacation.
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Text I received from my mom while I was with my friends on Superbowl Sunday:
“You should watch superball half time black eyed pee were great”
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I was very upset one day and sent out a text to my entire family, making sure to put everything in caps, and ended the message with “WTF!?” Everyone responded with texts along the lines of “Haha,” or “LOL.”
Except for my mother. A few minutes later, I received this text message: “What does that mean, ‘Wednesday Thursday Friday’?”
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