(196 votes, average: 4.80 out of 5)
Loading ...[Written entirely in the subject line of the e-mail, with no message]
your Hagrid, he chewing all my slipper, I will keep and show to you, you better replace for me, love bye
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(196 votes, average: 4.80 out of 5) Loading ... (289 votes, average: 4.79 out of 5) Loading ...[At the dinner table, speaking in Mandarin except for names]
Me: Ma, these steaks are amazing!
Bro: Mmmm, so good, wowww… thanks Ma!
Mom: Yes, and my grill is so great because it drips excess oil while it’s grilling the meat! Simple and easy to clean, and keeps us healthier. I bought one for your Aunt Jean in Taiwan, too since it’s so handy. I just love my Morgan Freeman Grill!
[Bro and I look at each other confused]
Bro: OMG… Ma… did you mean… your George Foreman Grill?
Me: AHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Mom: You two always like to pick at my English. Their names are similar okay, and they’re both nice black men I see on TV!!!!
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(140 votes, average: 4.69 out of 5) Loading ...[In response to a photo I sent her of my boyfriend and I at a dinner party]
Dear Chougou,
Happy Birthday!!
I showed the pictures to grandparents which you sent to me last time , they were just laugh, they think you are still a little girl, Laolao said “??”. Daddy always keep quite and no face expression.
The boyfriend thing is ok, just enjoy the period, but I have concern, you know. Remember what I said before, “marry the boy who has hold your hand”, although era is different from mine, the core of life actually is same, you are smart girl, you know what should or should not do. I hope boyfriend could makes you both progress.
I guess daddy may anger if he saw wine instead of boy, alcohol can make trouble, you can not trust yourself if you drink alcohol. Just remember, if you drink in public, only one glass, and always hold the glass by yourself anytime. I am serious, remember what’s mom said forever!!
Mommy always play annoying role, well, just do the best you can.
Love, mom
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(245 votes, average: 4.60 out of 5) Loading ...KFC Worker: Welcome to KFC, can I take your order?
Mom: Yes please, can I have one bucket of chicken?
KFC Worker: Sure! White or dark meat ma’am?
Mom: Duck!? I don’t want duck! I want chicken!
{ 6 comments }
(110 votes, average: 3.90 out of 5) Loading ...[While watching an entertainment show]
Me: there is no way that man is 50! he looks 25!
Mom: you know they are actors & actresses. they cover up their wrinkles with that buttocks stuff.
Me: WHAT? buttocks?
Mom: buttocks, botox same thing.
{ 5 comments }
(335 votes, average: 4.85 out of 5) Loading ...Me: Did you buy anything from the swapmeet today?
Mom: Yes, I got CD holder….and this hat.
Me: MOM! Do you know whats on that hat?!?!
Mom: Yes, it’s a city in Mexico. The hat was on sale.
Me: MOM! The city is TIJUANA not MARIJUANA!
{ 9 comments }
(402 votes, average: 4.85 out of 5) Loading ...How my mom eats her popcorn so the grease doesn’t touch her fingers:
{ 65 comments }
(122 votes, average: 4.58 out of 5) Loading ...Yes, Fremont is lower than 60 degree at night….
Be sure to sleep 9 hours, however, remember even if you miss one night’s sleep, it will take many many days to recover, to regain the energy. Especially, the pimples won’t remember that you are catching up the sleep later on. When I travel overseas and suffer from jetlag, the payoff later on is PIMPLES POPPING UP LIKE DAFFODIES IN THE SPRING, and lowering immune system and malfunction of digestive problems….
I understand it is unavoidable as a college student, just like it is inevitable as a frequent traveller struggling for time difference.
Cheers and hope you are here so I can prepare soup to replenish your immune system….
Mom
{ 5 comments }
(71 votes, average: 3.86 out of 5) Loading ...Hi girls,
This article is written by a chiropractor telling you the proper way to stand ,bend and sit in order to proctect your back.The ” X” means NO, the ” O” .means YES. I hope this will help my Melis’s back problem.If you have any question,call me ,I will be happy to disgust. Over all,remember TO KEEP YOUR SPINAL CORD STRAIGH WHATEBER YOU DO. Have a good day at work.Don’t forget to sit right.
Love,
MOM
{ 0 comments }
(127 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5) Loading ...My mom owned a fast food restaurant and on her to-buy list the following was written down:
Hat Dug Beg
I read it for awhile until I realized she wanted to buy “hot dog bags.”
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