My Mom is a Fob

Cutting Out the Crapohydrates

Posted on March 13, 2010 at 10:55am

I noticed my mom was loosing weight and asked if she was doing anything in particular.

She responds, “I am on a low crap diet.”

Eating the State

Posted on February 7, 2010 at 08:02pm

I look into the refrigerator and see a big brown paper bag and ask my mom what’s in it.
Me: What’s in the bag?
Mom: Oranges for Chinese New Year. Did I spell ‘touch’ right? T-O-U-C-H right?
Me: Yeah you spelled ‘touch’ right but you spelled oranges wrong…
Mom: (pronouncing oranges with a chinese accent) Or-an-gee. What’s the right spelling then?
Me: You spelled Oregon. That’s a place!
Mom: OH, HAHAHA. Fix it before your siblings eat all the oranges!!

Candy Chomp, Chomp!

Posted on December 20, 2009 at 04:26am

Hi Elizabeth,

How are you doing? How is your paper coming along? I miss you~~~~. How are you surviving the below freezing weather in Boston? It’s so cold here, too, with the temperature hovering around 38 F~. I am very sleepy at work, staring at & trying to read these boring scientific progress reports—. Only thing I can do is eat MORE chocolates. I have Christmas colored peanut M&Ms, mini 3 Musketeers mint dark chocolate, mini Twix bars & Dove mint silky milk chocolate squares~~~. I also had those mint M&M, but I ate them all-gobbled them down-chomp, chomp!.
I hope you are not following my example and be good, eating healthy snacks. ;)
Love you & miss you.

Love,
Mom

On the Grocery Shopping List

Posted on November 28, 2009 at 01:16pm

A refitgisirator afterthought

Posted on September 21, 2009 at 06:44am

Dad & MOM are going to vacation, Please take good care of yourself. Drive safe & go home early, when you are cooking don’t forget to turn the stove off, keep  check all the door before going out & sleep. of course don’t forget PRETZEL he need all of you to love & give him food & water… OH..oh..OH..ohhhhhhh….. I  L O V E YOUUUuuuuUUUUuuuuUUUUuuu  too ( need food check the refitgisrator I had food to feed you).

I LOVE YOU

Lovely 
M O M

Fruits and animals

Posted on December 16, 2008 at 11:44pm

Mom: I found a nice antelope and cut it up for you.
Me: Are you sure about that?
Mom: Antelope?  No no… not antelope… the other one… HONEYDEW!

Vegetable humor

Posted on December 14, 2008 at 09:13pm

dearest bao,
i made eggplant parmesan today with 3 different kinds of cheese. it was really good. didi said that it tasted like lasagna! i don’t know why i like to copy down those Italian recipes so much. maybe because i like cheese a lot. anyway, this is a really easy dish to make too so i will teach you.

when i went to the middle-eastern store to buy eggplants, i noticed something really funny. there are different kinds of eggplant: chinese, japanese, italian, indian, and american. and the american eggplants are the biggest and fattest among all the eggplants! HAHAHAHAAHA. just like their people!

have a good night bao and a good day tomorrow!

mama

Labeled just in case

Posted on November 24, 2008 at 01:17pm

Why else a plate of warm eggs would be sitting on the kitchen table in the morning eludes me:

On fire

Posted on November 23, 2008 at 01:27pm

Mom after putting a spoonful of hot soup in her mouth:

Ouch! Burn my roof.

Black men on TV

Posted on November 12, 2008 at 03:25pm

[At the dinner table, speaking in Mandarin except for names]
Me: Ma, these steaks are amazing!
Bro: Mmmm, so good, wowww… thanks Ma!
Mom: Yes, and my grill is so great because it drips excess oil while it’s grilling the meat!  Simple and easy to clean, and keeps us healthier. I bought one for your Aunt Jean in Taiwan, too since it’s so handy. I just love my Morgan Freeman Grill!
[Bro and I look at each other confused]
Bro: OMG… Ma… did you mean… your George Foreman Grill?
Me: AHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Mom: You two always like to pick at my English.  Their names are similar okay, and they’re both nice black men I see on TV!!!!