My Mom is a Fob

Putting Gay and Gay Together

Posted on July 4, 2010 at 10:56am

When I was updating my mom on my gay friend Drew she got a bit confused:

Me: Yea, Drew is dating someone now.
Mom: So who Drew date?
Me: My other friend, Aswin.
Mom: Oh… (silence)
Mom: Aswin gay too?

Learning About Homosexuality

Posted on March 27, 2010 at 01:42pm

There was a snowstorm at school, and my mom called to check up on me.

Mom: Did you get home ok last night?
Me: The weather was bad; I didn’t want to go all the way back to my dorm, so I slept over in Travis’ room.
Mom: WHAT?!
Me: It’s ok, Mom! You know that Travis is gay. Nothing happened.
Mom: Oh ok good.
a minute later…..
Mom: So….can the gay still get you pregnant?

And on a separate occasion:

Mom: How is Travis? What is he doing for the holiday?
Me: He’s good! He’s going to spend break with his new boyfriend.
Mom: Oh….is Travis’ boyfriend gay too?

Oh and by the way

Posted on October 26, 2008 at 08:58am

[Text message conversation]
Mom: Do your health insurance approved by your company
Me: Yes. I have my health insurance cards and everything.
Mom: Ok now u can use your own insurance i can cancel your dental and medial now thanks
Me: Um..you’re welcome
Mom: Oh yea one of alfred romate is really gay haha

A wall decor critique

Posted on October 25, 2008 at 02:16pm

Mom: Hey, why you have all the black guy on your wall? Your wall all cover in the black guy.
Me: They’re different musicians I like.
Mom. No. You look like the gay. You invite girls here, they going to think you the gay. You so skinny already, OK, don’t go look like the gay guy.

Matchmaker Mom

Posted on October 25, 2008 at 04:38am

Mom: So, how Alex doing? Do he have girlfriend yet?
Sister: No, Mom. Alex is gay. He’s been outwardly gay since high school. That was eight years ago.
Mom: Ohhh… so, why he never have girlfriend?
Sister: Because he’s gay, Mom. He likes boys.
Mom: Why do he choose that?
Sister: Mom, he didn’t choose that. He’s just gay.
Mom: Ohhh… let me know if Alex want me introduce to someone. I can introduce to nice girl.

Facebook friends

Posted on October 23, 2008 at 02:36am

Facebook message sent by my mom regarding a photo of me kissing my roommate on the cheek:

Jean,
Your picture shows you are gay that is no good.
Mon

Parental guidance recommended

Posted on October 23, 2008 at 12:41am

dearest daughter,

thanks for help! could you do some reserch make sure those books good for your brother’s age, please do not relate to drug, sex, violence, horror, and gay those topic.

love,
mom

Son, don’t be that way.

Posted on October 19, 2008 at 11:20pm

Mom: It’s good that your friend Milcah is a lesbian.
Duy: Yeah I know.
Mom: Just don’t be like her.
Duy: What?
Mom: You know, the same way like her. Don’t be that way.
Duy: What are you talking about?
Mom: You know she is a girl and she like other girls. I just worry you gonna be turn like her.
Duy: ??? You don’t want me to like girls?
Mom: No, I don’t want you to be lesbian.