One time we were in California on a family vacation and my mom was driving around looking for a nice beach for us to hang out at. She pulls up to a pedestrian, rolls down her window and asks, “Excuse me do you if there are any nice bitches around here?”
Me: Hi Mama, whatcha cooking?
Mama: Today it rain too much and I make the orgasmic green bean.
Me: Orga … huh?
Mama: Orgasmic, when the ground has no chemical, only animal poo poo to make the vegetable grow. Charging extra.
Me: ORGANIC Mama. It’s Organic!
Mama: What this orgasmic mean? Orgasmic different from organic how? What I say wrong (said while smiling like a crazy person)
Me: (laughing hysterically)
Mama: Bad girl, laughing at Mama … yallah tell me, what I say wrong?
My mom was trying to book a plane ticket to go visit her sister in San Francisco:
Mom: Aunt Esther get free plane ticket because she is freaky flyer
Me: Freaky flyer?!
Mom: She fly all the time!
Me: Oh! FREQUENT flyer!