My Mom is a Fob

Freudian Flight

Posted on November 5, 2009 at 09:35am

Suffice to say, my mother had a rather unfortunate experience on Google this morning.

Please use your hand

Posted on August 24, 2009 at 08:08am

Dear Mihir Beta,

How are you doing? I am missing you. Keep healthy. Sleep well and eat well. Please call and talk for few minutes. You keep saying, “I got to go”. That is hurting. I would like to know what you are doing or how studying is going on. Do your best. Donot do too many things. This is the age to work hard and make your life. You have to make some sacrifices on some pleasures.

Donot get entangled with any girl. I know you want to have physical relationship with a girl. Please use your hand. It is safest way. For your stars only girl can give you problem now. I know all your friends have girl friend and you feel bad. Remember you will have a great life ahead of you. Donot accept any girl even if she comes to you. Just wait. Character is the most important thing in life.

Happy Diwali!!!!! for Friday. Pray to Divine Cosmic Energy to give you strength of mind, body and spirit.

My Blessings and Love to You,
Mom

Shady health appointments

Posted on December 11, 2008 at 06:39pm

From: [Mom]
Sent: Friday, February 15, 2008 10:10 AM
To: Jeff
Subject:

Ah Dee,
What kind of “missed appointment – UHS” costed you $10. just curious.
Mom

—–

Jeff wrote:
hi mom. it was for my physical checkup…i am fine. my body is normal!

—–

From: [Mom]
Date: Fri, Feb 15, 2008 at 8:55 PM
Subject: RE:
To: Jeff

Don’t have too many sex. I gave you a very clean body.

Sex ed

Posted on October 24, 2008 at 10:42am

you still virgin? you know…….no balloon, no party ok? ok

The nonconfrontational sex talk

Posted on October 24, 2008 at 01:20am

Mom: You might meet a boy and when you shake his hand, you feel electricity!
Me: What?
Mom: Feeling electricity is good, but make sure you don’t feel electricity when you shake every boy’s hand.

Parental guidance recommended

Posted on October 23, 2008 at 12:41am

dearest daughter,

thanks for help! could you do some reserch make sure those books good for your brother’s age, please do not relate to drug, sex, violence, horror, and gay those topic.

love,
mom

Subject line: I understand you

Posted on October 18, 2008 at 07:20am

Now I realize the difference between students graduated from Yale or Harvard and other regular university. So your dad and me are not worried about your job, but worry about one thing which your dad wants me to talk with you.

I understand you, like all other young people, would like to experience the love, a romantic love. We also know, to stop young people having sax before marriage is impossible, but we’d like to remind you, at least you should always protect yourself well.

1. Do not let pregnancy happen.

2. Prevent the disease. your skin is not good, I am afraid the first time having sex you might get pain and suffered.

with love,

Mom

Gchat status says “fuck Mondays!!!!!”

Posted on October 17, 2008 at 06:54am

Mom: mei, why you said funk mondays
Mom: Mei, Are you on line?
Teresa: hello
Mom: Why you say Funk mondays?
Teresa: haha
Teresa: cuz I’m not happy about monday coming!
Mom: Is Funk means Sexy?