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This is an email my mom sent me filled with advice on all kinds of protection — from unwanted pregnancies all the way down to dry, chapped feet. She made sure to cover all her bases.
Missy, i am glad you are protected with the pills. is always be prepared than sorry.
when it’s cold, wear sock at home or to sleep ,if you can,use a little hot oilment under neath the
feet palm before you wear sock ,i am Ok,now try to go back routine,
mom
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I emailed my mom telling her I had 2 extra tickets for graduation and was giving one to my boyfriend and she sent me this reply:
Jessica,
Ask Gene to have dinner with us on 6/12. One ticket to Lube?
You have 2 and half months for free, what’s you plan?
How about this weekend?
Mom
At first, I didn’t know what she was referring to as Lube but after I called her, she said, “L-U-B-E … isn’t that how you spell Ruby’s name?”
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I left my dog, Grizzly, at home with my mom for a week while I went on Spring Break. During that time, I received a very concerned email from her:
Sometimes he made love with pillow, lick his g-g*. 20 min. ago, his g-g was very long. The length is about my middle finger. Don’t know if you know about these thing. He is only under 3 yrs old. Last year when I was in Taiwan taking care of Ruby, there was a female dog in “?” period (don’t know the english). The smell from her last one week. Thus some male dogs always follow her. Grizzly’s case, I don’t know why he showed this kind of reaction.
*It sounds like penis in Chinese.
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Mike,
I heard you will go to Las Vegas for a Bachelor party. I concern of the event.
One should consider himself with Dignity in Respectful manner. Reckless people might want to put you in Test. Specially while you’re in toxic(alcohol), suggesting you to do some activities that you shouldn’t ever do, like sleeping with a dangerous girl.
When I mentioned my concerns to Simmons, he told me about [Hang over] movie. I’m not sure what is about that movie, but keep in mind that Marriage is one step of Maturity process to become responsible in order to make a Family unit, which include a child. So don’t get tricked by less sincere people’s attempt to ruin your life.
Enjoy your life as mush, but always remind yourself that you have a wide awakened conscious is observing you to guide you in Light to make you eventually an Enlighten one.
I trust you always, but because of my caution I had to mention this.
with great love,
Mom
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Suffice to say, my mother had a rather unfortunate experience on Google this morning.
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Dear Mihir Beta,
How are you doing? I am missing you. Keep healthy. Sleep well and eat well. Please call and talk for few minutes. You keep saying, “I got to go”. That is hurting. I would like to know what you are doing or how studying is going on. Do your best. Donot do too many things. This is the age to work hard and make your life. You have to make some sacrifices on some pleasures.
Donot get entangled with any girl. I know you want to have physical relationship with a girl. Please use your hand. It is safest way. For your stars only girl can give you problem now. I know all your friends have girl friend and you feel bad. Remember you will have a great life ahead of you. Donot accept any girl even if she comes to you. Just wait. Character is the most important thing in life.
Happy Diwali!!!!! for Friday. Pray to Divine Cosmic Energy to give you strength of mind, body and spirit.
My Blessings and Love to You,
Mom
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From: [Mom]
Sent: Friday, February 15, 2008 10:10 AM
To: Jeff
Subject:
Ah Dee,
What kind of “missed appointment – UHS” costed you $10. just curious.
Mom
—–
Jeff wrote:
hi mom. it was for my physical checkup…i am fine. my body is normal!
—–
From: [Mom]
Date: Fri, Feb 15, 2008 at 8:55 PM
Subject: RE:
To: Jeff
Don’t have too many sex. I gave you a very clean body.
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you still virgin? you know…….no balloon, no party ok? ok
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Mom: You might meet a boy and when you shake his hand, you feel electricity!
Me: What?
Mom: Feeling electricity is good, but make sure you don’t feel electricity when you shake every boy’s hand.
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dearest daughter,
thanks for help! could you do some reserch make sure those books good for your brother’s age, please do not relate to drug, sex, violence, horror, and gay those topic.
love,
mom
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