(12 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)
Loading ...One time we were in California on a family vacation and my mom was driving around looking for a nice beach for us to hang out at. She pulls up to a pedestrian, rolls down her window and asks, “Excuse me do you if there are any nice bitches around here?”
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(7 votes, average: 4.14 out of 5) Loading ...For the longest time, my mom didn’t know that one line from “Hey Ya!” by Outkast goes “shake it like a polaroid picture!” Up until the time I corrected her, she’s been singing “shake it like a bowl of pizza!”
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(26 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5) Loading ...Mom: and today tony had a surgery ,cut some things from nect [tony is my dad, and she meant neck]
Me: what? what things?
Mom: meat
Me: why?
Mom: meat ball
Me: hahahahaha so nothing bad?
Mom: he eat too much meat so it grow in the neck
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(47 votes, average: 3.94 out of 5) Loading ...Mom: Today I learned something new at work.
Me: What’s that?
Mom: What day is today?
Me: Wednesday?
Mom: Yes, so then?
Me: I don’t get it.
Mom: Wednesday is the humping day!! Halfway done work so means it is the humping day for everyone!!!
Me: MOM It’s not “humping” day, it’s “HUMP” day, like the hump of a camel or a mountain!!!
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(43 votes, average: 4.14 out of 5) Loading ...My mom, sister and I are at the mall.
Mom: Do we need to go to Hot Pocket?
Sister: … You mean Hot Topic?
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(49 votes, average: 4.57 out of 5) Loading ...Mom: You know that show “You Are A Loser”?
Me: You mean “Biggest Loser”?
Mom: Yeah that one.
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(52 votes, average: 4.69 out of 5) Loading ...
Our mom tries to keep the windows splatter-free.
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(67 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5) Loading ...Subject: hi Mess
your new nick name is Mess because you are a mess. work harder on your career.
mom
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Believe it or not, My Mom is a Fob is now available in print! Not only does the book showcase your favorite entries as well as never-before-published submissions, it also features essays by the authors, Teresa and Serena Wu, and a forward by comedian Margaret Cho! Grab your copy of the book today on Amazon, Borders, or Barnes & Noble!
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