Eating the State

Posted on February 7, 2010 at 08:02pm

dont-touch-oranges

I look into the refrigerator and see a big brown paper bag and ask my mom what’s in it.
Me: What’s in the bag?
Mom: Oranges for Chinese New Year. Did I spell ‘touch’ right? T-O-U-C-H right?
Me: Yeah you spelled ‘touch’ right but you spelled oranges wrong…
Mom: (pronouncing oranges with a chinese accent) Or-an-gee. What’s the right spelling then?
Me: You spelled Oregon. That’s a place!
Mom: OH, HAHAHA. Fix it before your siblings eat all the oranges!!

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Posted on February 3, 2010 at 10:45pm

This is a quote from a Gchat conversation with my mom about my tattoo and what my jichan (grandpa) thinks about it:

you are made to so pretty and beautiful, the tatoo ruin your value. that’s what jicchan think
and only yakuza get tatoo

(Yakuza is the Japanese mafia.)

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1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (42 votes, average: 3.45 out of 5)
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Hi Hi Hi

Posted on February 3, 2010 at 10:43pm

I got this text from my mom after tennis practice:
Hi emily i just want to hi to you Hi and hope your team will score love mommy do you

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1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (49 votes, average: 4.63 out of 5)
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Public Orthodontal Announcement

Posted on January 30, 2010 at 06:01pm

My mother stalks my Facebook sometimes. She decided to very publicly inform me about the fact that I left my retainer at home when I went off to college:

retainer-mymomisafob

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1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (65 votes, average: 2.02 out of 5)
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Menstrual Advice

Posted on January 26, 2010 at 11:43am

subject: when you have period, sprot drink + warm water

when you have period do not keeping on taking pain killer because it will hurt
your kindney in the long run. I heard a lady keep on taking Pain Killer when
she has period come and now she needs to wash her kindney and she is not 30 yet!

if you have headach or period please mix the sport drink with warm water
and the ratio is 1 to 1 or 1 to 2 and the result is much better than pain killer!

Loves
Mom

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1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (54 votes, average: 3.94 out of 5)
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Money is Like Water

Posted on January 25, 2010 at 04:46pm

fob-email-grace

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1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (64 votes, average: 3.88 out of 5)
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Caution — Frangiblity

Posted on January 22, 2010 at 07:22pm

My mom was packing some of my old things into boxes. We got the boxes from the grocery store. This one originally contained some kind of “bagged” food. It now contains fragile items, I think.

fragile-mymomisafob

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Getting the Phone-Jeez

Posted on January 20, 2010 at 12:14pm

mom-chat-phone

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Facebook Fail

Posted on January 16, 2010 at 11:55pm

Just a slight Facebook misunderstanding:

momonline

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1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (121 votes, average: 4.70 out of 5)
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One Cock, Please

Posted on January 15, 2010 at 03:54pm

My mom and I were eating at a Denny’s a while back, and the following conversation ensued.

Mom: I’d like a cock.
Waitress: Um … a Coke?
Me: Yes, she would like a Coke.
Mom: Yes. A cock.

Comments

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (139 votes, average: 4.83 out of 5)
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